Hold Up! Pump Your Breaks!

Submitted by: Jade L

Imagine being a newlywed and a new mom but forced to share a life with your husband's ex wife. I am not sure what world they do this in but it will not be mine! Let’s rewind!

WELL WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS:

"My now husband and I, have been dating since 2018; married now for 1 year and his ex wife has been BITTER since the day we met.

From constantly calling, constant internet talking, stalking, showing up at our jobs, breaking car windows, pushing her way into my house to look for him, holding him at gun point, calling the police, filing false reports and recently putting her hands on me at a family funeral. In 28 years, I’ve never been in a fight.. EVER! And to get into my first at a funeral was wild but let’s just say I DID THAT!

At first, his family was totally against her and she was not welcomed around for any reason whatsoever due to her behavior/past/mental issues, but that all changed when (all of a sudden) my husband's little sister became “best friends” with her.

Girl what? Stop it!

Not to mention that his little sister is one of the reasons for their divorce because she introduced her to new men that she constantly cheated on him with. Now, his family thinks it’s okay for her to be at all of the cookouts, all of the family parties, events, holidays, funerals etc. because she’s “their daughter”; I just don’t understand. Honestly, they ALL act this way in their relationships so I’m not surprised, but we don’t do that over here. They’ve never even called me their daughter LOL! So glad.

He has voiced that he does not want her around but his family does not listen. My husband is a family man so it used to bother me that even though he did not want to be around (because of her), we would still go out of respect for his parents. I’m a family woman too, but one with boundaries! This sets me apart and I’m glad I was able to teach him that. His family now has to respect him, his new life, and his new wife (me) before they get any real time with him or my son. They get upset and asks why, but we’ve voiced it 101 times. So whenever they choose to come to terms with what we said, we’ll be more than happy to be around, and they can properly meet my son.

But until then, call us the "Casper Family".

Complete ghosts and we love it.

His family thinks I forced him to change and that he’s being manipulated but little do they know, boundaries are just a beautiful thing."

---

Jade, ma'am! Thank you for this story! I cackled and was definitely on the edge of my seat but I whole-heartedly agree! Set those boundaries! your marriage and little family comes first. "Heave to Cleave"! I am hurt that your marriage thus far hasn't been peaceful but I commend your husband for standing firm and trying to keep the peace. Kudos to him. I pray it gets better, and I pray that ex-wife changes for the better to have a cohesive environment in the future.

For those parties that are going through a divorce and wanting to navigate a new relationship, REMEMBER:

There is nothing wrong with being on friendly terms with your ex-spouse. However, there must come a point where both parties should learn to let go and move on. This would not be possible if your ex keeps coming to you to hang out, ask for your advice, and insert herself into your life.

Your ex asking your mutual friends or family members for information about you and your personal matters is an unhealthy boundary. Besides the complete disrespect for your privacy, they may use the information they glean from those mutual people for their benefit.

Constant visits to your residence and your social media platforms are also manifestations of an unhealthy boundary.

A divorce is the end of a marriage; you are no longer husband and wife. The change of your marital status brings about a lot of other changes.

Some people find it difficult to accept these new changes, especially if the divorce was sudden or not the most amicable. Some may suffer from a withdrawal. However, you must work towards welcoming these changes and moving on to your new life in general. Failure to do so will only end in more pain.

If you can relate to this submitted story, comment and share your own #WWHHW moment.

*This forum is not a substitute to getting professional help*